Home care for late stage dementia, Part 2: Getting medical advice and preparing for decline

Persons in late-stage dementia are almost totally dependent, confined to a wheel chair or a bed, and have serious memory problems and physical complications. In India, care for persons in this stage is usually done by family caregivers, and can be very challenging.

Dr. Soumya Hegde, a Bangalore-based Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist. She has extensive experience in supporting people with dementia and their families through all stages — for persons living in full-time facilities as well as for persons being cared for at home by their families. Dr. Hegde completed her training in Geriatric Psychiatry in the UK. Her work experience includes seven years as Associate Director of the highly reputed full-time facility, Nightingales Centre for Ageing and Alzheimer’s (Bangalore). In this series of posts, Dr. Hegde discusses various aspects of home care for advanced dementia, and provides useful information and several practical suggestions.[note]

In this part, we discuss how to get medical attention, stay in touch with doctors, and cope with the deteriorating medical status and related decisions.

Questions/ Comments by Dementia Care Notes: What sort of doctor(s) should the family stay in touch with?

Dr. Soumya Hegde (Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist): You need a doctor who knows about dementia, and knows the status of the person with dementia. This is usually a psychiatrist or neurologist. Ideally this is the doctor who diagnosed the person and who has been with you all these years. If you change your city, ask your doctor to suggest a doctor in your new city. Make sure the new doctor you go to knows the case history. And stay in touch with your dementia doctor. Doctors cannot help families they are not in touch with.

You will also need a home doctor or GP (general physician) for immediate medical attention for problems like cough or urine infection, and for handling normal ongoing problems like diabetes. You can’t go to a dementia specialist every time for such things. You don’t need to. Look for a physician near you, maybe from a neighbourhood diagnostic facility.

DCN: A common problem is that specialists rarely make home visits, and it is difficult for families to take someone in advanced dementia to a specialist. Can you suggest practical ways for families to stay in touch with a dementia specialist?

Dr. Hegde: Till it is possible for you, take the person for a visit every six months or so.

Later, maybe taking the person to a doctor’s clinic is no longer possible. Maybe you can’t get the person with dementia in and out of a car easily. But the family caregiver can meet the doctor anyway. Book an appointment with the doctor. Use that appointment slot to give the doctor updated information. Show the doctor home videos of the person doing various things. The doctor can review these videos and get to know how the person is walking, talking, eating, etc. The doctor may ask questions like, does the person cough when given water? Or the doctor may ask you to check something.

If the family stays in touch at least once every six months in this way, the doctor has the updated status about the person, and knows how the person is progressing. Many doctors who are kept informed like this may be comfortable advising families if contacted for a problem. Ask your doctor what contact method suits them in case you need help for a problem, so that the doctor knows you may call or message them between appointments.

DCN: As the dementia gets worse, the person will decline. In addition to dementia, other medical problems may also be there.

Dr. Hegde: That’s right. You need some type of regular check-up. In fact, that is why you must stay in touch with doctors, so that they can tell you what to look for and how, and tell you which tests to get done. You need to be able to spot problems.

The difficulty is that persons in late-stage dementia may not tell you about pain and other problems, so observing and remaining alert is very important. Keep your doctors updated, so that they can suggest what to look for.

DCN: This brings us to the challenge where the person with dementia develops a problem that needs major hospital treatment like cancer or kidney problems.

Dr. Hegde: This can be quite tough. The person was already suffering because of dementia. Now there may be something additional where it is usual to give aggressive care. Often such problems don’t even get noticed in early stages and with late detection, the treatment required is even more aggressive.

Take the example of certain types of cancer. The caregivers may not know that the person has pain. They may not notice anything till the cancer has advanced so much that the skin manifestation is obvious. Even then, they may first think it is an abscess and try to treat for that. It takes time to realize that this problem needs a hospital check-up.

At a hospital, after various tests and scans, they get a diagnosis. The cancer specialist will advise on an approach suitable for cancer given its stage. He will probably suggest a timetable for treatment. What is the family to do next?

This is where you need a doctor who understands dementia and who knows you and the person. You can consult your dementia doctor and ask your questions, like whether the suggested cancer treatment would increase the quality of life or not, what would happen if you don’t want that treatment, will there be pain, etc. You can then go back to the cancer specialist to discuss more. Or maybe your dementia doctor will be willing to liaise between you and the cancer specialist to help decide what to do.

Persons who have dementia along with other serious medical conditions need a multi-disciplinary approach. You cannot go just by what one specialist says. You need someone knowledgeable about medical aspects to help you. This person will get all the information, ask various doctors the questions, coordinate between them, and put things in perspective for you. If the dementia specialist does not do this liaison, maybe you can ask a GP who knows you well enough. Or a friend or relative who is a doctor. Or maybe a palliative care team can help with this liaising. But you will need this coordination.

DCN: What about surgeries? They will involve a similar decision process, right? Are there some more suggestions on what to keep in mind for surgery decisions?

Dr. Hegde: Surgery decisions depend on the benefit you generally expect because of that type of surgery, and on whether you think the person will actually get those benefits.

Some types of surgeries may not be particularly useful in this advanced stage.

Basically, a surgery decision depends a lot on the level of cognitive impairment of the person. How will the hospital stay affect the person? How much of the required post-operative care and rehabilitation is possible given the state of the person?

Take the case of operating for a fracture. In advanced cases, it is unlikely that the person with dementia will be able to follow the post operative physiotherapy protocol. So surgery with the intention to help them mobilise again may not be realistically possible. Yet , surgery may make it possible to enable the person enough to use a wheel chair and to reduce the pain associated with a fracture. So there are many aspects to consider.

Or you may decide that the risk of anesthesia is too high and you may not wish to proceed. In this case, you could discuss options of care with the doctor such as traction and maintaining the position of the fractured limb. A physiotherapist can tell you how to move and help the person till the person heals naturally.

But if the person is cognitively well enough to cooperate with post-operative work, a better quality of life can be expected.

For decisions like surgeries, it is good to discuss multiple aspects with experts and maybe also talk to families that have faced similar situations.

DCN: Some doctors are gentle and patient when explaining things to families. Some are brusque. What can family members do to make their interactions with doctors more informative and pleasant?

Dr. Hegde: Again, let’s take the example of cancer.

The doctor gives you the cancer diagnosis, explains it, and recommends some course of action. You and your family should think about what the doctor said and what you want to ask next time you meet the doctor. You may want to ask about the prognosis (what to expect in the future, chances of recovery, etc.). You may want to know why the doctor feels treatment is needed, or why the doctor feels treatment is pointless. You may want to know what will happen if you decide on no treatment or a milder treatment– what kind of harm will the person come to, what sort of pain the person may have, and so on.

Once you are ready, meet the doctor to ask your questions. The doctor may say, I am not the best person for these, and refer you to someone. Or the doctor may explain things to you. In either case, if you don’t have your answers or are not satisfied, get a second opinion.

Take the report to another oncologist. Ask people around you for references to doctors who can explain these things to you. And talk to your dementia doctor.

When talking to a doctor, the tone of your voice is important. If you are agitated and loud or if you start arguing, the doctor may withdraw, and may not tell you all they can tell you. Stay calm and patient.

DCN: Sometimes the person falls ill and is rushed to the hospital because that’s what we do when someone is ill. At the hospital, we may have very little involvement in the decisions the doctors and nurses take. They may use aggressive treatment. Also, the person may get worse. Sometimes the person is put on a ventilator and family members don’t know whether to continue with that or discontinue it.

Dr. Hegde: Yes, that happens. I’ve had families contact me for advice. The hospital doctors tell them that if they take the ventilator off, they can’t say what will happen, and that is true.

I ask families to look at the state of the person at that point. Think what the person was like before being put on the ventilator. Suppose the person is able to breathe after removing the ventilator –the best-case scenario—what quality of life will the person have? And if the person remains on the ventilator, you don’t know how long it will be, it could go on and on, and it is costly and you are just waiting, unsure of what to do next. See what you find acceptable.

Such situations are very difficult for the family. Maybe the family has discussed about end-of-life decisions earlier. It is good if the family is together in this decision and has the help of a doctor who knows them.

DCN: All through this process of decline, the late-stage person is being cared for by one family, but their siblings and close relatives may be in other cities/ countries. What suggestions do you have for keeping others in the family informed?

Dr. Hegde: Your communication approach essentially depends on your mutual understanding and what you can do without increasing your stress and work. You can definitely try to keep them informed. If the remote relatives want, and you can coordinate it, video call is an option to make remote family members feel involved and informed. They can talk to you, and also see the person with dementia and understand the status better.

Note that it may not always be possible for you to keep distant relatives constantly updated. You will be busy and worried yourself. If such ongoing updates and communication are adding to your stress, explain your limitations to these remote family members. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if they offer.

And as I mentioned earlier, keep in mind that you may need to discuss end-of-life decisions with family members.

DCN: Dementia is called a life-limiting condition. Ultimately, the state of the person with dementia will get worse anyway, even if there is no major illness like cancer. What happens then?

Dr. Hegde: Decline is different from person to person. And it may be fast or slow.

But generally speaking, over a period of time the intake of someone with dementia comes down, mobility comes down, and communication drops to almost zero. They express nothing to us. No activity is possible. Interaction are limited to making sure they are cleaned and fed. You shift them on a wheelchair, and they just sit there. They lose interest in their surroundings and the people around them.

When doctors cannot find any physiological reason for a major decline, they have no way to improve the situation. Things may have reached the final stage, though it still can’t be said how long they will remain at that level and when they will get worse.

Talk to your doctor to find out more about the person’s state. Maybe this is also when you tell your relatives about the decline, so that they can visit if possible. Tell them that later, when things really go bad, you may not be able to inform them in time for them to come.

The person may stay at that level for a while. Or something could happen within a few days. The vital signs may start going down and then suddenly crash, the BP might go down, the oxygen saturation might drop.

Think about whether you need to discuss end-of-life choices with close relatives if you have not already done so. It depends on how you discuss and decide things in your family. But if you need to talk and agree about these things, do not delay the discussion if you see a decline.

Watching that decline can be tough for a home caregiver. Try to stay in touch with someone who can be with you in this, maybe a doctor or social worker or palliative care expert or just a very good friend. You need someone to support you at this hard time.

Thank you, Dr. Soumya Hegde, for your suggestions on how to get suitable medical support, and how to cope with declining health!

In the next few parts, we will look at some specific care topics. Part 3 will include topics around skin, bruises, exercise, massage, and bedsores.

Dr. Soumya Hegde practices in Bangalore as a Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist. She practices at her clinic: Memory Matters, 6, Wind Tunnel Rd, Kaveri Nagar, Murgesh Pallya, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560017, and can be contacted at 89044 18172 or emailed at memorymattersindia@gmail.com. (Contact details reconfirmed in September 2026)

This interview is part 2 of our 6-part interview series on late stage care. Other interviews in this are: Part 1: Prepare for home care, Part 3: Bruising, skin care, exercise, massage, bedsores, Part 4: Constipation, Catheter use, Dental Care, Improving the Quality of Life, Part 5: Eating/ swallowing problems, and Part 6: Tube feeding and related decisions.
We also have a detailed discussion on late stage care at: Late-stage dementia care.

Note: In this interview series, Dr. Hegde shares information and her suggestions on several topics of late-stage dementia care, for the general convenience of family caregivers. Each family’s care situation is different, and readers will need to see what is helpful for them, and also look at information from other sources. For medical advice for your situation, consult your doctor.

[This is part of the expert interviews on this site. View the list of all interviews of health care professionals and volunteers.]
Note. This is an interview of an expert/ volunteer. The views expressed and the suggestions given are those of the interviewed person, and not a recommendation being made by Dementia Care Notes. Suitability and applicability of the suggestions remain the responsibility of the reader. For professional advice suitable for your situation, please consult an appropriate professional.

Home care for late stage dementia, Part 1: Prepare for home care

Persons in late-stage dementia are almost totally dependent, confined to a wheel chair or a bed, and have serious memory problems and physical complications. In India, care for persons in this stage is usually done by family caregivers, and can be very challenging.

Dr. Soumya Hegde is a Bangalore-based Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist. She has extensive experience in supporting people with dementia and their families through all stages — for persons living in full-time facilities as well as for persons being cared for at home by their families. Dr. Hegde completed her training in Geriatric Psychiatry in the UK. Her work experience includes seven years as Associate Director of the highly reputed full-time facility, Nightingales Centre for Ageing and Alzheimer’s (Bangalore). In this series of posts, Dr. Hegde discusses various aspects of home care for advanced dementia, and provides useful information and several practical suggestions.[note]

We begin this interview series by discussing how to organize the home and prepare for smoother care for someone with advanced dementia.

Questions/ Comments by Dementia Care Notes: Home care for someone with advanced dementia needs organizing so that we can do it smoothly and with less effort and stress. How should we set up the room where the person and the caregiver will spend most of their time?

Dr. Soumya Hegde (Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist): Pick a suitable room with care if you have the option. Try to use a well-ventilated, well-lit, clean room where there is enough space to move around. A dingy room without fresh air or light can be very depressing for the person and for the caregiver. The room doesn’t have to be big, but it should feel open. Declutter the room. Many things the person needed earlier may not be needed now. Actually, you can start this clearing out of objects even before the person becomes bedridden. Remove things that can hurt the person or are unsafe.

Have enough comfortable space for the caregiver so that the caregiver feels happier and better while caring. And if you are using a paid caregiver, remember that a paid caregiver won’t stay if they are not comfortable.

A room with an attached bathroom is preferable if the person can use a bathroom. Make sure the bathroom is accessible by the person, even on a wheelchair. Add grab rails. You may need a commode chair.

One important thing to try for is a hospital bed so that the person can be raised and lowered easily. See if you can buy or hire a hospital bed that can be raised and lowered because that will make it more convenient for caregivers when they have to change diapers or give a bath or feed the person. Or at least get a bed-rest that you can use to make the person sit up. You’ll also need sheets for waterproofing under the bed-sheets. Think about getting a wheelchair if you can manage it.

Make a place for your care supplies and basins for water needed for cleaning, an air mattress, and various things like these. You can keep adding these objects as and when the need arises.

DCN: How can we organize and manage the care work so as to avoid exhaustion and burnout?

Dr. Hegde: When it comes down to managing a bedridden person, organization and management can really make a difference, both for the family caregiver and the paid caregiver.

Being clear on what things you want done every day. For example, you want the person bathed and cleaned and fed. You want to do massaging and passive physiotherapy. You also want have some form of stimulation for the person. Make a timetable so that you can fit all you want to do and to manage it without confusion. Decide who will do which task, and at what time, and try to ensure that all the tasks get done without anyone getting too tired.

For example, consider the night rest for the caregivers. Caregivers will burn out without enough sleep, even if everything else is great. Family caregivers will fall ill and break down. The paid caregiver will leave if she doesn’t get enough rest.

So, share the work so that each caregiver gets at least five or six hours of peaceful sleep. Say one caregiver can sleep off early, maybe by nine, even before the person with dementia does, and this caregiver gets up by about 3 or 4 in the morning, and is rested enough to do what is needed. And the other caregiver can stay up longer, so that she is there with the person who may remain awake till later. This second caregiver sleeps late but she can sleep longer because the first caregiver wakes up early. The person with dementia may have slept for only five hours but somebody has been with them, and both caregivers take turns and get enough sleep.

Proper arrangement and use of space are important. Keep things organized and within reach for the activities you do often. Take diaper change for example. Think of all you need for the procedure, keep it somewhere that you can easily reach and use when you want, so that the diaper change takes the minimum time and effort. Even if you have to do it many times a day, you aren’t thinking, oh no, I just finished cleaning, and now she’s passed motion again and I have to do it all over again.

DCN: Family members need to handle or supervise daily care tasks. Information for these may be available in scattered ways in books and videos and such online resource sites, but they are new to this. What do family caregivers need to learn? Where can they learn it?

Dr. Hegde: Think of all you need to do through the day, see what you know, and ask questions about the rest. Nowadays you can even get someone to come home and train you. Or you can go to an organization like Nightingales Centre and ask for such training.

And you don’t need to wait to be trained. Keep picking up information as you go along. So, if you are in a hospital, take that opportunity to ask the nurses to show you how some task is done. Or if a nurse or doctor comes home for a visit, or a physiotherapist comes, ask them. Ask things like, how do I check for dehydration, what do you mean by skin elasticity — whatever you think may help. Whatever you have in your mental list, keep picking up whenever you can.

Don’t overwhelm yourself and overdo this. There are many things you may never need to learn because they might not be required for the person you are caring for. This is a process. The person keeps changing so what you need to know also changes. Keep learning what you need. You will see that the more you learn, the easier it becomes for you to modify yourself and learn more. You become better and faster at picking up new things.

DCN: In late-stage care, families have to remain alert about medical problems so that they can call a doctor or rush to a hospital if needed, or cope with minor problems themselves. In any case, they have to share their observations with the doctor when explaining a problem. What can home caregivers learn to help them with this? First aid? Other things?

Dr. Hegde: First aid training is good to have, especially CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. Learn how to check the vitals — pulse, breathing (respiratory rate). And blood pressure, if you have a machine. Understand the difference between slow breathing and rapid breathing.

One important thing to learn is how to ascertain the level of alertness of the person with dementia. Check if they open their eyes spontaneously when you call their name, watch for their reactions when you speak and to painful stimuli, to the sounds around them, and so on. Based on these observations, the doctor will be able to ascertain their level of alertness. You can say, yesterday she was opening her eyes when I called her name, today when I’m calling her name there is no response. Yesterday when I pinched her, she withdrew her arm, now today she’s not withdrawing it. She’s not wincing on painful stimuli. This sort of information helps doctors understand the situation better; they can then correct medication levels and decide their course of action.

Being able to detect dehydration is also useful. And you may also need to learn some basic tasks like doing a PR (per rectum) examination or giving an enema.

Of course, you may need to learn other things later, like using a nebulizer or an oxygen tank. You can pick these up as and when they are needed.

Another thing, keep some basic medicines and a first-aid kit handy, along with necessary numbers (doctors, ambulances, persons who may help).

DCN: Which late stage problems can be handled at home and which need a trip to a hospital?

Dr. Hegde: It depends on the sort of problem, the investigation and treatment involved. Obviously for radiation and chemotherapy type of things you need a hospital. But for many things it depends on what you can arrange for at home.

Suppose someone has high fever and has not responded to antibiotics. The doctor may want to check for pneumonia. Can you arrange for a portable X-ray or will the person have to be taken to a hospital for the X-ray? Or for treatment—do you have support to give IV antibiotics at home?

Many services are now available for home-based nursing and medical care, so this depends on which city you are, the cost, distance, and convenience and such things. For example, in some places, you can even arrange to do dental work at home. Some home health companies bring a dental chair and clean the tartar and plaque at home. Some even do tooth extraction at home.

DCN: Thank you, Dr. Soumya Hegde, for this basic introduction to setting up the home for late-stage dementia care!

In Part 2, we discuss how to get medical attention, stay in touch with doctors, and cope with deteriorating medical conditions and related decisions.

Dr. Soumya Hegde practices in Bangalore as a Consultant Geriatric Psychiatrist. She practices at her clinic: Memory Matters, 6, Wind Tunnel Rd, Kaveri Nagar, Murgesh Pallya, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560017, and can be contacted at 89044 18172 or emailed at memorymattersindia@gmail.com. (Contact details reconfirmed in September 2026)

This interview is part 1 of our 6-part interview series on late stage care. Other interviews in this are: Part 2: Getting medical advice and preparing for decline, Part 3: Bruising, skin care, exercise, massage, bedsores, Part 4: Constipation, Catheter use, Dental Care, Improving the Quality of Life, Part 5: Eating/ swallowing problems, and Part 6: Tube feeding and related decisions.
We also have a detailed discussion on late stage care at: Late-stage dementia care.

Note: In this interview series, Dr. Hegde shares information and her suggestions on several topics of late-stage dementia care, for the general convenience of family caregivers. Each family’s care situation is different, and readers will need to see what is helpful for them, and also look at information from other sources. For medical advice for your situation, consult your doctor.

[This is part of the expert interviews on this site. View the list of all interviews of health care professionals and volunteers.]
Note. This is an interview of an expert/ volunteer. The views expressed and the suggestions given are those of the interviewed person, and not a recommendation being made by Dementia Care Notes. Suitability and applicability of the suggestions remain the responsibility of the reader. For professional advice suitable for your situation, please consult an appropriate professional.

Keeping persons with dementia peaceful and improving their quality of life: practical tips from a nurse

Tips for keeping persons with dementia busy and feeling better from Sheila, a registered nurse with experience in aged care assisted living facilities (long-term stay homes for elders) and in an acute hospital which included care for persons with dementia. The interview includes what sort of activities can be used to keep persons with dementia busy, and changes that can reduce their agitation and disorientation. Simple techniques to keep dementia persons busy, like using rummage boxes and fiddle mats, are described. Read the interview here: [note]

Dementia Care Notes: As someone who has been working with patients with dementia, you must have often encountered upset and agitated patients. Please describe a couple of such experiences and how you and your colleagues resolved them.

Sheila: In my experience, when persons with dementia are admitted to a hospital for an acute medical condition, it is not uncommon for them to occasionally become agitated. This also happens in “aged care” facilities, where patients have moved in for long-term assisted living care. Sometimes this agitation is related to simple things like the patient not being able to find the toilet. Sometimes they know that they are not at their usual place, and hence have a desire to leave.

Also, such agitation can happen even to patients living at home, and such a desire to “go home” (even though they are already at home) may be related to their mind being in a different chronological time in their history. For example, a woman with dementia may be living with her husband, but her mind is back in another time/in another house/ with her mum and dad. Persons with dementia don’t have the ability to reason that they are not children any more, and they do not know the difference between past and present, because the area in the brain that handles higher functioning has been damaged and lost.

In hospitals, patients often have to share a room with other patients, and they may not like the people they share the room with, or others may come and invade their space or touch their things etc. There are many challenges of managing patients with dementia in a group setting. There is a lot of activity because of people coming and going, and conversations happening around them, which their mind is trying to make sense of and often interweaving into their own thoughts. In “aged care facilities”, where we strive to create a home away from home, persons with dementia may share a room with one other person for company or have a room on their own, which is a lot nicer for the patient.

In both “aged care” facilities and hospitals, we try to keep the environment quieter and calmer to reduce episodes of agitation. We are better at creating a calm environment at “aged care” facilities, than we are in hospital where there is always a lot happening because the medical problems being treated require constant attention and action.

It really would be ideal to try and resolve health issues of patients in their own familiar surroundings with their own doctor who has a relationship with them. Home care, therefore, is preferable if the family can handle it. This is not always possible, and if patients do need admission to a hospital for some medical problem, then it is often best if the family members can spend a lot of time visiting, and during the visit, take their loved one away from the room to a quieter area for a spell.

When a patient gets agitated, the nurses try to assess the cause of the agitation. Do the patients need to go to the toilet? Do they need to have a drink or a snack? Has someone annoyed them? Is there too much activity or noise that is causing the patient’s agitation? Is it related to memories, for example, they feel they have to get to work, or go do the shopping, or go home? Are they in pain– a simple headache may lead to agitated behavior.

Once the cause is established and the patient’s basic comfort needs have been met, then if the agitation persists, we try to use distraction techniques.

We try general soothing conversation using a calm tone, low pitch and slower pace. We point out pictures in a mag or in photo albums and elicit conversation. We may ask simple questions requiring simple answers like ‘yes’ or ‘no’. We can elaborate and suggest a response, just to keep the conversation going, and we also take the stress out of them struggling to find an appropriate answer. We might make them a cup of tea and sit with them for a chat. We might get them singing or play some olden-days cheerful but gentle songs. We play simple children’s games with them, give them something to cuddle or just hold their hand stroking it gently. We might get their loved ones on the telephone to speak with them — this often helps to calm them down– the promise of a visit ‘later’. We might take them for a gentle slow paced walk away from their area.

If simple measures don’t work, we may use medication.

If patients are aggressive, we might just leave them alone in a safe environment and observe them from a distance. With time sometimes, the aggression may resolve. We may get another staff member to approach them, as sometimes for a while you become the ‘bad guy’ or the cause of their frustration.

Note that, to be effective while helping a patient, we need to know enough about them. Persons with dementia might not be able to tell us what their age is or what their profession used to be, or what their family members’ names are. To be able to care for them in an “aged care” or hospital setting, it helps enormously to have some background information when interacting with patients with dementia. This helps us manage their agitation better. Fortunately for home caregivers, they typically know enough about the patient.

One important thing I’d like to emphasize is that we have to separate the person from the disease, so that we don’t lose sight of them as individuals. Each case is different and the challenges faced by the carers depend on what area of the brain is affected and what ability is lost.

Dementia Care Notes: Please share some tips about possible triggers.

Sheila: Some triggers for agitation may be needing to go to the toilet, can’t find the toilet, needing a drink or food, too much noise, pain/headache, something on T.V. if that is playing in the background, the tone of our voice, reacting to our impatience, feeling cold/or hot.

The time of the day can be a trigger, often at sunset (this is called ‘sundowners syndrome’) probably because in the past they had to get things ready for the family coming home, or had to get home by a certain time. Sundowning is managed best by medication, as they remain agitated till it gets dark.

Sometimes agitation is just related to memories that come up– ‘got to go to the bank’, ‘got to go to the shops’, ‘got to get the car fixed’, ‘got to get the crop harvested’ etc.

Another trigger may be related to pain, or being constipated, or if the symptoms have worsened over a few days it may be related to a urine infection or other health problems.

Dementia Care Notes: Sometimes, patients get into a sort of “loop” where they keep repeating a demand or remain stuck in an emotional pattern even when the “trigger” is resolved. Please suggest how to handle this.

Sheila: If the behavior is repetitive questions, first establish that they don’t need to go out to the toilet or need a drink or are free from pain. If it still persists, then you don’t have to become frustrated by feeling that you have to answer every time; it is just a behavior, develop a bit of a deaf ear. Involve them in some meaningful activity.

They may be acting repetitive because they are bored. If you are getting a meal ready, then give them a simple chore like peeling vegetables or shelling peas or setting the table(unbreakable dishes are a good idea, like thalis).

As a last resort, medication might be an option.

Dementia Care Notes: Please give some examples of changes we can make in our homes to reduce the chances of patients getting agitated, or wandering out, or harming themselves.

Sheila: Keep the temperature comfortable.

Reduce the auditory and sensory stimulation. For example, don’t have the T.V. blaring loudly in the background, or have them in a room where children are running around fighting or playing noisily. Keep the environment calm, with adequate but not glaring lighting. The T.V. news is often distressing as it usually contains unpleasant, anxiety-producing negative content about wars or thieves etc. Nature shows or travel documentaries or children’s shows are often good distraction for a short while.

A dark mat (black or dark brown) at the front door often works to turn them back, because they can’t make out if it is a hole on the floor, or how to cross it.

A simple picture of a male/female and a toilet on the door of the toilet helps them locate the toilet if that is a problem.

You can also make some changes in the home to make it an uncluttered, safe environment, such as remove loose rugs/mats that they might trip or slip on.

Dementia Care Notes: Please suggest ways to keep patients engaged and active when we are busy with household chores and not able to sit down with patients for games or other activities. Please suggest activities that do not require continuous supervision, and would not frustrate them if they are alone.

Sheila: You generally can’t leave them alone for long unless they were accustomed to spending large amounts of time on their own listening to music or reading.

One good and simple idea is to have a rummage box, a bit like your grandmother’s sewing box, full of interesting bits of fabric, spools of thread, buttons, lace, and add other interesting things like colorful balls, small bells, costume jewellery etc. For men, you can have a box of nuts and bolts, small spanners, bits of wood, scraps of fabric etc.

Start them off picking up items and putting them on a table in front of them. Suggest they sort out the box or tidy up. Once they empty it out, they will often pack it up again— a few minutes of time is bought.

Instead of using a rummage box, we sometimes make a ‘fiddle mat’, which is easier to handle, and takes less space to play with. A fiddle mat is a small fabric place-mat to which we attach objects of the sort we may have kept in a rummage box. For example, we stitch on things like zippers, ribbon tied in a bow (which they can undo and fiddle with), colorful buttons, bells, pieces of fabric, things from their past that hold memories like bobbins( thread reels), bits of knitting or crochet etc. Patients often spend hours trying to get the objects off the mat or trying to ‘fix’ it. Such a mat would be simple to make at home, too.

Photograph of some fiddle mats. Courtesy: Sheila

Some people with dementia often rummage through drawers. They will pull out all their clothes and pack them away in bags as if getting ready to leave. You can have drawers they can rummage through without upsetting you, and just put everything back when they’ve lost interest later. Try not to scold them, or it will backfire on you and just make them agitated. I’d suggest you keep their everyday clothes in another area, and just let them have items in their drawers that won’t upset you if they mess it all up.

In the “aged care” or hospital setting, nurses will often take the patients with them when they are doing routine tasks like restocking cupboards etc. While the nurses are tackling the tasks, they give the patients something simple to hold or ask them for help with tasks like folding cloths.

You can do things like that at home, too. If you are doing laundry, have them sitting nearby (like you would have done with your kids or grandkids) and give them pegs to fiddle with or some folding of simple items. Again, don’t expect a task to be completed as they often lose their train of thought and can’t concentrate for long periods. Remember that you are giving them something to do to keep them occupied and happy while you are doing your own work; you are not giving them the task in order to get it completed perfectly.

If they are strong on their feet they can help you carry items and walk along with you.

Everyone wants to be useful. It would be pretty scary especially in the early stages of dementia to be aware that you were losing your mind and not being able to recognize everyday items and people.

Dementia Care Notes: Caregivers would love to spend quality time with the patients, but don’t always know how to. Please share what sort of joint games/ activities you have found patients enjoying with their caregivers.

Sheila: Some activities you could try:

Armchair exercises: Stand/sit in front of your loved one and ask them to mimic your exercises. Raise your arms over your head, then lower them out to the side. Raise your arms above your head, then touch your shoulders with your fingertips. Bend your head from one side to the other, up and down, side to side etc. raise your legs out in front, then back down. Rotate your ankles, and so on– you get the picture. Make up your own routine and keep it simple.

If they liked to paint when they were young, get some poster paints/crayons or colored pencils and a scrap book or children’s coloring-in books. Even if they were never too interested in painting, they will often participate and produce meaningful pictures.

Look through photo albums, talking about the people and places.

Make scrapbooks of comforting pictures. Patients can help cut out pictures and glue them down. When made up, these scrapbooks are good to look at and chat about. Fill the scrapbooks with large pictures of flowers, or scenery or animals and birds, or even household items or festivals. You can glue pieces of fabric down– choose colorful patterns or fabrics with texture that they can touch and feel.

In our “aged care” setting and in hospitals, our patients often like walking around the corridors looking at the pictures on the walls, pictures of sceneries and birds, or framed embroidery or tapestry. We always stop and reflect on the picture and have a gentle conversation about it.

Watching happy old movies may be okay. They might fall asleep during it or walk away. Just be guided by what mood they are in.

If you take them for a drive, go somewhere not too stimulating. Avoid noisy shops, etc. A peaceful park would be a good option. Large family gatherings can be overwhelming after the first few hugs.

A soft toy or baby doll might be of comfort, especially to the ladies.

Stroking pets (if they are fond of pets) is comforting. You can always get friends to bring a calm pet over.

Asking family or friends to telephone or visit one at a time, also breaks up the day.

Dementia Care Notes: Please suggest which activity to try out, and when. Please tell us how to know how much activity is good, and when it becomes over-stimulation.

Sheila: Do activities when they are at their best/ most alert.

Think of how you would entertain a toddler at home. Similarly, the attention span of persons with dementia is limited and their ability is often limited, so keep games simple. Matching cards/pictures, playing snakes and ladders, try any children’s games and see what they are able to do. You will know they’ve had enough if they become restless or fall asleep.

Intersperse activities with walks. Walking in the garden is good. Point out flowers and trees on the way. Keep an easy social chitchat going even if they don’t reply. Ask simple questions on and off, and answer your own question if they’re having trouble answering.

It is better to have a daily routine. Get up around the same time, eat around the same time, and so on. Just swap the activities around every now and then.

Dementia Care Notes: Please share any other observations you have.

Sheila: I would suggest family carers try and get some time out for themselves every day just to go for a walk, or have coffee with a friend, or just do the shopping.

Friends are often willing to sit with your loved ones and read to them or talk with them, if they know what to do and what to say. If you are feeling stressed (just like you did when looking after your children when they were young), ask friends for help or time out. It is not dissimilar to minding a young child– just make sure they get to know your friend before you leave them alone with them.

It is not selfish to have time for yourself or admit you are feeling frustrated and stressed. You will feel a lot more loving if you can have some ‘me time’.

Your roles have swapped completely, and instead of having that parent you looked up to for advice, you now have a little child in an adult’s body. Some family members describe it as “living with a stranger”. If you are caring for your spouse, your husband or wife no longer recognizes you. It is recognized that carers go through a grieving process as the person they knew disappears for ever.

Go easy on yourselves. You are doing a wonderful service. Take time out so you can last the distance and feel good about yourself.

Thank you for this very informative set of tips, Sheila!

[This is part of the expert interviews on this site. View the list of all interviews of health care professionals and volunteers.]
Note. This is an interview of an expert/ volunteer. The views expressed and the suggestions given are those of the interviewed person, and not a recommendation being made by Dementia Care Notes. Suitability and applicability of the suggestions remain the responsibility of the reader. For professional advice suitable for your situation, please consult an appropriate professional.

Care in a dementia day care centre: a social worker explains

In this interview, Jincy Shiju, a social worker at Dementia Day Care Centre, Bangalore (Nightingales Medical Trust) has described how they get information on and support persons with dementia through various activities for the day care. The day care described has since closed, but the interview remains useful to know related to day care functioning and what to discuss with their management if you are considering using a day care. [note]

Dementia Care Notes: Please describe the steps you follow to admit a patient for the day care facility.

Jincy: When a client’s relatives approach us for day care facility, we first ask them to get the client assessed by our doctor. During this assessment, our doctor checks the client’s current status and identifies which areas to focus on during rehabilitation and care. We next gather information about the client from the client’s family, using our “client social profile” format, and we sit with the family to get clarifications and additional data about the client.

At the end of this information-gathering, and before we take in the client for actual care, we are therefore well informed about the client’s personal and social history. For example, we know:

  • Client’s personal history, such as preferred name, school/ education, occupation, cities lived in, languages known, family details (such as spouse, children, grandchildren and others), friends/ neighbours, pets.
  • Special memories and anecdotes.
  • Social involvement, such as whether the client likes to socialize, social activities enjoyed, etc.
  • Emotional habits, such as how the client expresses emotions such as joy, sorrow, does the client like to be touched/ hugged, how the client expresses frustration.
  • Religious beliefs and habits.
  • Behavior challenges.
  • Routine the client is used to.
  • Food habits, likes and dislikes.
  • Hobbies, activities that the client likes or may want to try.
  • Whether the client likes intellectual activities.

Dementia Care Notes: How do you handle new patients when they are admitted?

Jincy: We use a gradual approach to help the client adjust to the day care facility and staff.

The first day, the client stays with us only for a few hours, and a relative remains present.

Over the next few days, we increase the hours of the client’s stay with us. The relative remains present at the facility but sits in a different room, not visible to the client. The client is handled by our staff without the help of the relative. We use this adjustment period to get more comfortable about the client’s habits and likes and dislikes, and ask the relative for more data as we need it. The client, too, starts adjusting to our staff and facility.

Usually, after a few days, we are able to care for the client from morning to evening, and the relative no longer needs to be available for consulting.

Dementia Care Notes: Do you provide food? Are the patients comfortable eating the food you provide?

Jincy: Some families send food with the clients, and we heat and serve it at mealtimes. Others are happy to let us provide food to the client.

Dementia Care Notes: How well do the patients adjust to the day care?

Jincy: Some clients show better behavior here as compared to the agitation they show at home. Others seem agitated and restless and keep saying they want to go home. We usually manage to engage the clients in various interesting activities, and distract them from restlessness.

Sometimes, we do face problems such as restless clients trying to wander, or clients getting angry and aggressive.

Dementia Care Notes: Are some clients reluctant to come for day care?

Jincy: Yes, some clients tell their families that they do not want to come. Sometimes they even refuse to get out of the car and enter the facility. We have to persuade them. But once they enter the facility, they seem happy enough and spend the day peacefully.

Dementia Care Notes: Can you give some examples of how you handle challenging behavior?

Jincy: One of the problems we face is of wandering. Clients get restless and want to go out.

We first try to calm the clients by talking to them. If they want to walk around, we stay close with them or follow them, or we take them for a walk in our garden or to the park nearby. We do not stop them from walking, but make sure they are accompanied. As soon as they seem calmer, we guide them back to the facility.

Sometimes, we also stop wandering by locking the main door, so that they can only wander within the facility. If asked, we pretend that we have misplaced the key, or that the key is with a staff member who is not present and will be back shortly. We then try to distract the client.

Some clients insist they want to go back home. We never refuse this need, but let them know that their family will take some time to come. We may pretend that we have called the family, and that the family members are taking time because of a traffic jam. Or that our van cannot drop the client home back right now because there is no petrol or the driver has gone for lunch. Often, reassuring the clients that they will soon be going back is enough to calm them down for some time. We also try to distract them by sending along a different staff member to talk to them.

On a few occasions, when clients seem extremely restless, we may have to request the family member to come. We once had a patient who tried to climb out of the facility and was extremely agitated. After the family member arrived, however, he was very calm and it was difficult to believe that he had been so agitated just a short while ago.

Dementia Care Notes: So, in some situations, you need to call the family during the day, to ask them to take the patient home?

Jincy: This may happen for medical reasons, or extreme behavior challenges, but is not common.

In case of medical problems, in addition to immediately informing the client’s family, we also call in doctors from the neighbouring hospital to assess the client’s problem and advise us. Sometimes, the client is too unwell to stay at the day care, for example, he/ she may be having a severe asthmatic attack. Then we ask the family to take them home or to a hospital.

Sometimes, when the client is very agitated and insists on family presence, and when we are not able to calm the patient, we inform the family and request some member to come. In such cases, the client usually calms down on seeing the family member, and the family member is able to then leave. Or the family member takes the client home for the day.

Dementia Care Notes: How often do you need to call in the family to ask them to come or take the patient away?

Jincy: We have six clients currently. We usually do not need to call any of their families for help more than once or twice a month.

Dementia Care Notes: How often do you communicate with the family regarding the patient’s status and activities?

Jincy: Every day. We have a register in which we note down the daily report for a client. This is shown to the family every day by the driver who drops the client home at the end. The family signs an acknowledgement for having read this, and also uses the same register to note their comments and to inform us of any change in the client’s status or of any other problem.

In addition to this, family members call us whenever they need to tell us anything, and we also call them in case we need more information, or are facing a problem.

Dementia Care Notes: You have patients from different regions of India. Is language a problem at times?

Jincy: Usually, we are able to understand the client’s language because we have staff members who know the language, or are able to guess the meaning by asking questions. Once in a while, we face problems with a particular word; in such a case, we call the family to find out.

One such incident was when a client kept saying “peshaab” and we did not know what it meant, and were unable to guess. The client seemed insistent and agitated, and soiled himself by the time we managed to contact the family and understand that peshaab means urine.

Usually, however, families inform us of the words the client will use and we are prepared for handling the client.

Dementia Care Notes: Under which situations do you refuse to accept a patient for daycare?

Jincy: Currently, we do not accept bed-ridden patients for day care. However, we have another facility, Nightingales Centre for Ageing and Alzheimer’s, that accepts bed-ridden patients for short and long stay.

Dementia Care Notes: Are some of the patients incontinent? Do you accept such patients? How do you handle incontinence?

Jincy: Most of our clients are able to tell us when they want to go to the toilet. We also keep watching them for any restlessness. In any case, we take them every hour or so, so that there is less chance of accidents.

In case of accidents, we clean the clients and change their clothes. We have extra sets of clothes for such accidents.

Some clients, who are more incontinent, use diapers.

Dementia Care Notes: What is the ratio of patient to nurses right now at the day care centre?

Jincy: The ratio is one nursing aide to 3 patients.  The nursing aides are trained staff who help them with various activities, and two social workers who provide training and guidance and make sure that the care is being given properly. There is also one housekeeper and one driver.

In addition to these persons, we also often have volunteers and counsellors who come in for additional support.

Dementia Care Notes: What sort of activities do the patients spend their time on?

Jincy: In addition to the normal activities like walking, going to the toilet, and eating, we have activities that clients enjoy, such as games. Our staff spends time talking to the clients if the client likes it. Sometimes, we arrange for programs like pet therapy and art therapy. We also take clients for outings. The type of activity and the time spent on it depends on the client’s ability and interest.

Thank you, Jincy!

The day care centre described above is no longer operational, you can check our city wise resource pages for what may currently be available in various cities. For current information on the other facility mentioned in the interview, contact Nightingales Medical Trust Opens in new window.

[This is part of the expert interviews on this site. View the list of all interviews of health care professionals and volunteers.]
Note. This is an interview of an expert/ volunteer. The views expressed and the suggestions given are those of the interviewed person, and not a recommendation being made by Dementia Care Notes. Suitability and applicability of the suggestions remain the responsibility of the reader. For professional advice suitable for your situation, please consult an appropriate professional.

Taking dementia patients for outings: a volunteer shares his experience

In this interview, Satish Srinivasan, then volunteering two days a week at a dementia day care centre in Bangalore, described what was involved in coordinating activities for the persons with dementia and taking them for outings. While the day care has since closed, this interview provides a useful perspective of various aspects to be considered when planning an outing for someone with dementia, whether as an individual or a group . [note]

Dementia Care Notes: Please give us an idea of the locations you have visited along with the patient, and how the patients responded.

Satish: We have been to 13 places so far. Aquarium, Science Museum, Planetarium, Elders Enrichment Centre Malleswaram, Bimba Art Hut, Lal Bagh Flower Show, Ramakrishna Ashram, HAL Aerospace Museum, Bangalore Dairy, Lal Bagh, NCAA, Ragi Gudda Anjaneyana Temple, Durga Puja Pandal.

In all cases, patients responded well and were enthusiastic. Some examples of their responses:

  • When we went to the aquarium, one patient ,who was normally  not communicative, said she had an aquarium at home with similar fish!!
  • There was a particular patient who used to ask me every time I came in as to where we were going today!!
  • One client thanked me profusely after each visit.
  • One client wanted his picture (hard copy) which I gave him. Next time he gave me a 50 rupee note and said thanks. (I had to politely return it to him).
  • They loved the Lal Bagh flower show.
  • They liked playing badminton and cricket and knew the basics.

Dementia Care Notes: Please tell us the state of dementia of the patients you take for the outings. Are they able to walk without support? Are any of them on wheelchairs?

Satish: The patients are either in the early stage or middle stage of dementia. Some walk without support and some with support. Only one client needs a wheel chair.

Dementia Care Notes: What about the toilets at the destinations? How dementia-friendly did you find the locations you visited?

Satish: Toilets are available in all places we visited. Generally, all these places visited are dementia friendly with lifts, wheel chairs etc. available.

Dementia Care Notes: Please give us an idea of the planning that each outing requires, such as how you decide on a destination, and check its suitability for the outing, how you prepare the patients, and how you take them and bring them back.

Satish: A fair amount of planning is required such as:

  • Suitability of the weather (should not be too hot).
  • The place is to be open on the day of the visit. This is to be checked out earlier. Many places are closed on Mondays. Some places are open 365 days of the year.
  • The timings of the visit are also important. Many temples close at 12 noon and open only in the evening.
  • The place of visit should be close to the day care centre so that patients can return to the day care centre in time for lunch. Also, in an emergency, the group should be able to return to the day care centre quickly.
  • Patients should use the toilets before leaving. Those with incontinence use diapers.
  • Water and biscuits are carried.
  • The transport should be road worthy and diesel/petrol to be filled in advance.
  • Camera to be carried to capture happy moments.

The destination should be interesting and not very crowded.

The suitability for outing is verified earlier by physically checking out the place.

The group travels in a van.

Dementia Care Notes: Please tell us how long each outing is and how you handle it if a patient gets tired midway.

Satish: Each outing is between one to two and a half hours. We normally leave by 1030 am and are back by 1 pm. If a patient gets tired midway, we make him/her sit for a while and give him/her water and biscuits.

Dementia Care Notes: You mentioned once that you find the outings a stress-buster even for the social workers and caregivers of the day care centre. Please elaborate on this.

Satish: The social workers and care givers are very excited about these outings. These outings break their day to day routine which is stressful. Some of the care givers have asked me to organise a visit to Taj Mahal at Agra.

Dementia Care Notes: Based on your experience, please share some tips for family caregivers who want to arrange such outings. For example, tips on planning, on the types of locations that can be visited, or that should not be visited, etc.

Satish: The tips to family care givers would be to do the detailed planning as outlined above. The data base of places to be visited, days open, timings, entry fees, facilities available can be shared with all.

Dementia Care Notes: You conduct activities for patients in the day care centre. Please tell us some more about these activities, such as, which activities do the patients like more, and how they respond.

Satish: Antakshari, carrom, cards, blocks, snakes and ladders, separating seeds, knitting, colouring, painting are some of the common activities.

Dementia Care Notes: Please describe any one popular activity in some detail.

Satish: Antakshari is a very popular activity and patients take part singing songs in their own language etc.

Dementia Care Notes: Please share your tips for family caregivers for conducting home-based activities for their patients.

Satish: I suggest one visits the day care centre to see the range of activities available. Only those activities that interest patients should be pursued.

The family should try and get extended family, volunteers, neighbours  to help in home-based activities rather than try and do it all alone.

Thank you, Satish!

Note: The day care centre described above is no longer operational, you can check our city wise resource pages for what may be currently available in various cities.

[This is part of the expert interviews on this site. View the list of all interviews of health care professionals and volunteers.]
Note. This is an interview of an expert/ volunteer. The views expressed and the suggestions given are those of the interviewed person, and not a recommendation being made by Dementia Care Notes. Suitability and applicability of the suggestions remain the responsibility of the reader. For professional advice suitable for your situation, please consult an appropriate professional.

Dementia Care Notes