Neena (name changed) is a Gurgaon-based chartered accountant with 22 years experience. She has now quit work to manage care for her mother-in-law, who is now dependent for all activities. In the interview below, Neena describes the caregiving situation and its challenges, and how she handles it.
Please give us some background information about the patient.
The patient is my mother-in-law, aged 86 years, a graduate in music from Vishwa Bharati, Shantiniketan. She has 2 sons (aged 57 & 50) daughters-in-law , 4 granddaughters, and a grandson. Her husband passed away in 1993 and she lived independently in Calcutta and Mumbai from 1993 till 2005. She suffered a heart attack in June 2005; she had to undergo angioplasty, had a pacemaker implant in July 2006. Then she suffered vertebral fractures arising from a fall in the bathroom in July 2007, which led her to become bedridden. This led to an acute salt imbalance in her system and she was comatose for about 10 days. She spent the year 2007 mostly in hospitals, and then slowly started recovering.
My mother-in-law remembers old memories like they happened yesterday, but what happened today or yesterday does not have place in her memory.
Memory failures began, and the physician informed us that the symptoms pointed to dementia. They started about a year ago and gradually got worse. My mother-in-law remembers old memories like they happened yesterday, but what happened today or yesterday does not have place in her memory. Earlier a hyperactive lady, she does not wish to live as a dependant. She has simply lost the will to carry on because she has become totally dependent. It is impossible to cross the wall she has put up around her.
All the incidents since 2005 mentioned above occurred during my mother-in-law’s visits to our home, until finally she was so dependent that she could not go back at all. She is still under our care.
Read the full post here : Caregiving challenges, trained ayahs, depression: a caregiver’s story